The Runaway Wife

NB: if soppiness makes you ill, please do not read any further.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. I’m not too sure if this is true, but I know one thing is for sure – distance makes the heart grow more appreciative of what the heart has!

Today I sent Barry a card and on the inside it said “Life with you is an adventure”. In it I wrote that even though we are half a world away, I still feel as though this is just another adventure we are experiencing together. The last week has been hard for me… Bri (who’s fiancé is in the airforce and so has much more experience at the long distance thing than me) says that weeks three and four are always the hardest. I find that I have to force myself not to call home constantly. I have written to Barry almost every day since I left New Zealand, either in an email or a letter. I also speak to him at least twice a week. Even though he isn’t here to share the experience with me, I feel as though I am sharing it with him, through the letters and phone calls. We also seem to be going through the same emotions but from other sides of the planet. Barry doesn’t have homesickness, but I like to think he has Hana-sickness (hmmm… was that worded quite right?!?) and I think we are both appreciating now more than ever the relationship we have.

I was speaking to my friend Phoebe before I left, on what I though it would be like, leaving Barry behind. I was trying to explain, the gratitude and support I felt, that made me know that it would be ok leaving him (not happy and not easy, but ok). I told her that I’m lucky because with Barry I have the unconditional love and support that I have only ever received from my parents before him. I know that not everybody even gets this from their parents, so I know how fortunate I am to have it from so many people in my life. Not everybody gets that in a relationship. It doesn’t mean that I can act like a complete idiot and he won’t get mad or upset, but it does mean that he wants what is best for me, above and beyond what is best for him. From the moment I brought up the possibility of doing this crazy thing – of moving half way around the world – he was supportive… not just supportive, but encouraging even!
At the end of the card I wrote to Barry today, I said, “Even though this adventure is pretty tough at the moment, I know that in the end it will be worth it, because it means that we will appreciate all the other adventures we really do share together all the more.”

Ever since my year in Missouri during high school, I have believed that with travel, the lessons you learn about yourself and the relationships you have are far more important and stay with you for far longer than all the memories of Eiffel Towers, Coliseums and Towers of London ever will. So, I look forward to appreciating my husband more… I look forward to the lifetime of adventures we will share together… and I look forward to the ways that this particular adventure will strengthen our relationship.